Priory Plans Part II

Dear Reader,

Every day on the way to school, I pass this building:

The New Masonic Temple

I am not by any means superstitious, but usually I find myself nervous while I pass in front of it and find myself asking these questions in my head:

What sort of nefarious activities transpire inside?

Why is it so large?

Can I rent the space for a child’s birthday party?

Have I accidentally chosen the form for Gozer the Gozarian?

But today a different question came into my head:

What would this be like as our new priory?

Initially, I placed rosary-coloured glasses on my Dominican eyes and only saw the pros:

The foyer is just asking for a bust of Jane Austen (Br. Paul from already bought one in anticipation)

Larger-than-life statute of George Washington will undoubtedly protect us from Tea Partiers

When Jesus comes back, He'll undoubtedly already be familiar with this telephone design

Velociraptors ain't jumpin' this shit.

Pre-fab altar for sacrifices to Ishtar and the Seven Winds

Obvious and convenient central placement for my throne

Already looks like my study desk.

I've got to give it to 'em: even in doing creepy-tastic rituals, they do it AD ORIENTEM. An altar cross and a couple of throw pillows - we'd have ourselves a chapel.

Interior decoration thoroughly in support of the Crusades - check.

These windows defend the perimeter against both Jehovah's Witnesses AND zombies.

They even have a bust of a female representation of the Dominican motto! Really, what more could you want?

But then, in a flash of insight, I thankfully snapped back to reality and saved the province a great deal of wasted money and time.

I realized that, if we were to turn that building into our new priory, I would never forgive myself if I were to wake up one morning and find the following:

Yours in Christ,

Br. James Dominic, OP


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