If you haven’t already heard of Fr. Corapi, you will now; he’s just too entertaining to pass up:
Father Corapi is awesome.
Father Corapi does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
When Father Corapi does push-ups, he doesn’t push himself up, he pushes the earth down.
We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, “Please don’t kill me.” Too bad Father Corapi doesn’t believe in magic.
Father Corapi doesn’t need to pray to exorcise other people’s demons. He makes them swallow his fist and beats the demon out of them.
Regardless of race, sex, gender, location, or education level… at one point in your life you have underestimated Father Corapi. You will live just long enough to regret this.
An apple a day does not keep Father Corapi away. Only going to Mass and confession every day keeps Father Corapi away… sometimes.
Father Corapi killed Dumbledore.
There is a picture of Father Corapi next to “Priest” in the dictionary. If your dictionary doesn’t have this, Father Corapi will kill you.
Every time Father Corapi says Mass, an angel gets its wings.
The grass is always greener on the other side. Unless Father Corapi has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
When Satan goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet to make sure Father Corapi isn’t there.
They say lightning never strikes the same place twice. Neither does Father Corapi. He doesn’t have to.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. The only thing fear has to fear is Father Corapi.
They wanted to put Father Corapi’s face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn’t hard enough for his beard.
Father Corapi’s Rosary is made of spent .54 caliber bullet shells. No, really.
If theology tells us one thing, it’s this: if you take Fr. Corapi up on the above offer, you will lose.
Yours in Christ,
Br. James Dominic, OP