Being Safe

Dear Reader,

Always be safe when you engage in risky behavior. Keep that in mind amidst any upcoming holiday nighttime rendevous which might get a bit…frisky.

Your Brother James has some good advice this holiday season. Be safe.

Before engaging in any…activities…remember to put one on. And always keep one – or two! – right behind your credit card in your wallet.

YOU know what I’m talking about:

For any unexpected Midnight Masses that may arise this holiday season, be prepared - GET AN AMICE!

What did you THINK I was talking about?

If you want to be a little fancier, go ahead and splurge on yourself: get an APPARELED amice!

You don't need to show any trace of human emotion when you're COMPLETELY AWESOME.

And YOU thought I was kidding. Well,

I keep mine in the sock drawer.

And, because I’m an idiot willing to embarrass myself in front of the entire world, I decided to illustrate what it is to be me:

I put the amice on my head, posing in front of my festive Christmas-y door.

I wanted you to see the name on the door so that you didn’t think I was posing with other people’s Christmas cards. You see, REAL people love me too. Not like you Internet people that visit from Facebook and never subscribe because you’re just looking for a quick fix of “dolphin torpedoes” or “benedict cumberbatch.”

Oh, wait – no – please stay. Really.

And I REALLY do love DOLPHIN TORPEDOES and BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH. In fact, I also enjoy TORPEDOES GOLFINHOS.

James Dominic make GREAT SUCCESS for TORPEDOES GOLFINHOS.

 

I’ve even made you a cake and posted it in a ridiculous picture. WHAT MORE IS TO LIKE?!?!

With your apparelled amice securely in place, you are now ready to steam your Christmas pudding whilst dwelling securely at the apex of ecclesiastical fashion!

From your very own Br. James,

Merry Christmas!


Yours in Christ,

Br. James Dominic, OP

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  1. #1 by Benjamin on November 23, 2012 - 6:55 pm

    I just ate cheesy nachos and salsa wearing a white silk dalmatic WITH a maniple and an apparelled amice!

    • #2 by Benjamin on November 23, 2012 - 6:55 pm

      So, beat that!

      LOL!

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