There are certain things…

Dear Readers,

There are certain things in life you don’t mess with. Most people are familiar with the obvious ones: fire, heavy explosives, snakes, Fr. Corapi,* etc., etc. But then there are the less obvious, but equally dangerous ones. One of them is the saintly Fulton J. Sheen. The other is an Eastern hierarch.

Put them together and you’ve got someone to truly put the fear of God in your heart:

Please refrain from fainting as you are struck with absolute terror.

Yours in Christ,

Br. James Dominic, OP


*I disclaim being a fan of his. I once attended a talk of his and heard him say something like, “I was hiding behind a door, waiting for the drug dealers to find me, holding an automatic machine gun and high as hell on coke.”

As is patent, I still think this is completely hilarious.

I also find it hilarious to substitute “Fr. Corapi” for “Chuck Norris” in Church Norris jokes, as in:

  • We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, “Please don’t kill me.” Too bad Father Corapi doesn’t believe in magic.
  • Regardless of race, sex, gender, location, or education level… at one point in your life you have underestimated Father Corapi. You will live just long enough to regret this.
  • The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Father Corapi has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
As an interesting sidenote, I am also the person to possess the 1st 3 hits on Google for the search term “corapi chuck norris.” Just thought you’d want to know….



  1. #1 by Jacob Torbeck on June 13, 2011 - 11:43 pm

    kudos for the Sheen.

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