Dr. Who is Real

Dear Reading Brethren,

I can’t hide my disappointment. Only today I discovered that Dr. Who is a real person! This man arrived from the future at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland, dressed in a tweed jacket and bowtie, claiming that he was here to stop the collider from producing an era of prosperity and Kit-Kats. It was, I quote, “a communist chocolate hellhole.”

If you’ve never seen the show, know that that constitutes grave matter in moral terms. Dr. Who is a time traveler who looks, in his most recent incarnation, something like this:


Why, then, was I so disappointed to discover that he was real?

I just can’t get behind anyone, not even the Doctor, if they dislike chocolate. It’s just unnatural.

Like white chocolate.


Fish sticks and custard, however, are perfectly acceptable.


Yours in Christ,

Br. James Dominic, OP


PS – Doctor, if you’re reading this, I assure you that the Dominican studium here in St. Louis will have an abundance of fish sticks and custard when we move to our new building in about two weeks. Please come by….

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